hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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