Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
