Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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