conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I came so hard my ears popped.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
