hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
