oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
