so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize