I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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