Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize