Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
