but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
