Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
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Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
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He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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