The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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