wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
