Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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