So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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