just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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