i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
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i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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