i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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