I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
