I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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