remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
