She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
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Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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