Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
