She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
