I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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