I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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