You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
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the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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