We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
