If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
