I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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