I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
