Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
