Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
