Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
