Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
