I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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