yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Well I just put wine in my tea
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
