when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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