I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
