apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
and she was petting her beer can
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
