Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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