You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
