Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
