she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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