exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
