i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she pinky promised me she was 18
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
