this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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