oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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