Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
