I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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