No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
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There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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