thus making me awesome and them whores
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
