in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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