I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
