marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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