just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
