I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
